Self-Presentation Theory

Why I Care

I have changed the way I speak depending on who is in the room. I have rewritten captions, paused before answering, smiled when I did not feel it. Sometimes I wonder if the curated version of me has become more visible than the real one. But which one is real. Self‑presentation theory gave me a language for this tension, between being known and being accepted.

It also helped me make peace with some of it. Not all self‑presentation is fake. Sometimes it is survival, or sensitivity, or strategy. But when that strategy becomes a script, something starts to feel lost. This is where the theory becomes more than just academic. It touches on identity, autonomy, and exhaustion.

Why You Should Care

You are presenting yourself right now. Whether you are reading this on a laptop in public, or skimming between texts, you are choosing how to appear, and when to stay silent. Self‑presentation theory explains how we do this, why we do it, and what happens when the performance begins to replace the person.

On social media, at work, in group chats, we perform curated versions of ourselves. Sometimes that helps us belong. Sometimes it makes us feel like we are disappearing. Understanding this theory helps us spot the difference, and ask when our presentation stops serving us and starts hollowing us out.

What Is Self-Presentation Theory

Self‑presentation theory is the study of how people control the image they present to others. First developed by Erving Goffman (1959) and expanded by Leary and Kowalski (1990), the theory treats social life like a stage, where people perform different versions of themselves based on audience, goals, and norms.

There are two main forms:

• Strategic self‑presentation, deliberate attempts to create a desired impression.
• Authentic self‑presentation, expressing who we truly believe we are, in ways that feel real.

These forms are not opposites. They often overlap. We might present a real part of ourselves strategically, or try to appear “authentic” in ways that are still curated. Identity is not just expressed, it is managed (Brody, Davis, & Cummings, 2014).

Quick Definitions

Real-Life and Digital Examples

• The Zoom voice switch. You change how you speak when class starts. Polite, clear, slightly unnatural. That is strategic self‑presentation.
• The profile bio rewrite. You keep editing your Instagram bio to sound clever, deep, or nonchalant. That is audience curation (Kasch, 2013).
• The soft‑launch post. You post a blurry photo of someone’s shoulder. You want people to know something, without saying it. That is impression management (Arianto, 2024).
• The ghost follow. You view someone’s story but do not interact. You want to be seen as visible, not needy. That is quiet performance (Brandtzaeg & Chaparro‑Domínguez, 2020).
• The late‑night delete. You post something vulnerable, then delete it in the morning. You regret showing too much. That is internal conflict between authenticity and strategy (Bartsch & Subrahmanyam, 2015).

Self-Presentation in Digital Contexts

Online spaces increase both the demand and difficulty of self‑presentation. There is no backstage. Your posts, likes, and silences are all part of how you are read. People are not just managing their identities, they are curating brands, sometimes unconsciously (Paliszkiewicz & Mądra-Sawicka, 2016). The pressure to appear confident, aesthetic, or effortlessly ironic can lead to emotional exhaustion and identity diffusion (Kim & Lee, 2011).

Scholars argue that the line between authentic and strategic self‑presentation becomes blurry when social feedback becomes visible, measurable, and monetizable (Hogan, 2010; Lourduvesna, 2017). The more visible we are, the more calculated we may feel, even when we do not want to be.

Performance becomes habit, habit becomes identity, and identity becomes unreadable, even to ourselves.

Related Concepts

• Impression Management, broader behaviors people use to shape how they are seen.
• Social Comparison Theory, explains how people judge themselves in relation to others, often through curated content.
• Parasocial Interaction, one‑sided relationships that often involve strategic performance by public figures or creators.
• Identity Salience, the idea that different parts of our identity come forward depending on the social setting.
• Role Theory, people adopt behavioral roles to meet expectations, often unconsciously.

Questions I Am Still Exploring

• When does self‑presentation become self‑loss.
• What happens when identity becomes optimized, instead of lived.
• How do algorithms shape the feedback loop between performance and perception.
• What is the cost of being seen everywhere, while being known nowhere.
• How do people reclaim unscripted identity in spaces that reward strategic performance.

This article is part of a broader inquiry into how identity is managed, rewritten, and sometimes eroded in digital social life. These reflections support ongoing work on psychological agency and identity authorship in system‑shaped environments.

References

1. Arianto, D. (2024). University students’ self-presentation on TikTok in the perspective of dramaturgy. International Journal of Social Media and Online Communities, 18(1), 22–34.
2. Bartsch, A., & Subrahmanyam, K. (2015). Technology and self‐presentation, youth’s perspectives on the impact of social media on identity. Cyberpsychology, 9(3), Article 2.
3. Brandtzaeg, P. B., & Chaparro‑Domínguez, M. Á. (2020). From youthful experimentation to professional identity. Social Media + Society, 6(3), 1–12.
4. Brody, N., Davis, D., & Cummings, K. (2014). Social networking and impression management. Journal of Communication and Media Research, 6(1), 15–25.
5. Hogan, B. (2010). The presentation of self in the age of social media. Bulletin of Science, Technology & Society, 30(6), 377–386.
6. Kasch, S. M. (2013). Social media selves, college students’ curation of self and the construction of digital identity. Journal of College Student Development, 54(6), 625–638.
7. Kim, J., & Lee, J. E. R. (2011). The Facebook paths to happiness. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 14(6), 359–364.
8. Leary, M. R., & Kowalski, R. M. (1990). Impression management. Psychological Bulletin, 107(1), 34–47.
9. Lourduvesna, P. (2017). Self-presentation on Facebook. International Journal of Social Science and Humanity, 7(3), 151–157.
10. Paliszkiewicz, J., & Mądra‑Sawicka, M. (2016). The self‑presentation in social media. Management, 20(1), 29–43.